Stoners

Should we bring back stoning people to death? Well the bible is covered with rules and regulations that would allow people to kill and stone people to death. For instence, Exodus 21:17 says, “Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.” So why aren’t more parents having their kids killed when they disrespect or talk bad about them? All adultrers should also be stoned according to the bible as well. Leviticus 20:10 says, “If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.” There are many more examples like this in the bible from stealing to being a gay man.  So who is ready to pick up a few rocks and start chucking them at all the rule breakers of our land?

Rap Music is the Devil!!!

What is wrong with the young folk these days with their music. Back in my day we listen to good music like Frank Sinatra. But now these young people are listening to a bunch of rubbish that they call rap music. All it is is a bunch of sinful noise that should burn in hell. They talk about sex and doing drugs which no good christian would ever do. The music videos are the most sinful of all.

I was flipping through the channels on my fancy television one day and I stumbled upon MTV……If there ever was hell on television it is MTV. They were showing the number one rap music video for the week and let me tell you, I was outraged with what I saw. The song was called Make It Nasty? Why in the world would anyone want to make something nasty. The last thing I made nasty was in the toilet 20 minutes ago and that doesn’t even compare to what was in the video.

The video consisted of half naked and naked women rubbing their sinful bodies all of the raper. A good christian lady would not be in this video. Every single young person in that video is going to burn in hell. I was so outraged after watching this video I had to make another nasty. But I didn’t quite make it to the toilet.

This a warning to all of young good christian mothers out there to not let your children listen to this sinful noise. If you do allow it you and your children WILL BURN IN HELL!!

Concerned old lady,

Mrs. Olga Cartwright III

“Evil”ution

Evolution? What a joke! Might as well be called “Evil”ution. This “theory” is just another example of science’s attack on Christianity. These scientists completely ignore the word of God and say the first chapters of the Bible are lies! How dare they.

Scientists argue that all living things on this earth have gradually changed over millions of years to become the organisms we see now. HA! That is crazy talk! It makes no sense!

Why would things need to change over time. We, as God-fearing Christians, understand the truth. 6000 years ago, the world and all perfect plants and animals were created by God in 6 days. All the fish, dogs, birds and cows you see today look the same as the day they were created by God. Do scientists thing that my computer evolved to become a Mac? No, It was created. So how is that any different from man? Man was formed by God’s hands.

Another thing, how would an animal even evolve their body? Do they think they want to grow a tail and in a century they’ll have a tail? It seems preposterous to a rational-minded-Christian, but apparently not in the eyes of “science”.

Finally, It’s been thousands of years since the time of Jesus. Why have we and the animals around us not changed? I haven’t seen it, so I don’t believe it. “Evil”ution is just another tool scientists try to use to disprove God’s existence.

The only conclusion is that, evolution does not exist. Creatures, Plants and Mankind were created exactly how our Lord God wanted, each with their own needs and purposes. Nothing has or will ever change because everything was created perfectly by God. End of story.

GODS LOVE AND GRACE,

Phil Macracken

The Eastboro Baptist Church

Wednesday Nights

As I was bored last Wednesday and looking for something to do, I thought about going to a high school basketball game. When looking at the schedule, I realized that there are never any Wednesday night games! What the hell is that all about?! I dug deeper into this issue and realized that there can be no basketball games on Wednesday nights because of Wednesday Night Church service! 

HUH??

So we can allow this but not allow the Bible in school?? So much for total separation of church and state! This American government needs to get their heads outta their rumps and allow Bibles in school! 

Amen!